You were not plunked down here in this time and place to feel bad or to suffer.
Do these habits of mind and feeling persist in you? Do you hold on to them like a talisman? You can begin to heal and release those thoughts that bring you down. You can let go of your death grip on the image of yourself as powerless and depressed.
Can you learn little by little to tolerate the higher frequencies of feeling better, feeling good, of laughter, fun and joy? They may seem exhausting foreign, forbidden, but they are your gifts, freely bestowed by virtue of your life here on this earth.
Do not try to move mountains, start small with baby steps. Begin each day by intending to feel good in small ways.
When the frequencies of fear and dread overwhelm you, do what you might thing is counter-intuitive and allow them to be, feel and experience them in your body. Breathe. Name them. You simply acknowledge with love, and observe without judgment.
In this way you cease resisting the negative and that removes its power supply. The energy will shift and change allowing room for new feelings to fill you. You get to choose your new feelings! Ask daily to feel good.